By SUSAN DROMEY HEETER, Joyful Musings
In Jerry Maguire, Rene Zellwegger gushes to Tom Cruise, “You complete me.” In my own screenplay based loosely on that film, my oversugarfied character remarks to Halloween, played by the late John Candy, “You deplete me.”
It’s the end of Halloween week whereupon the grams of sugar I have digested are equal to the national debt: billions, trillions, gazillions. There has not been a Skittle I have walked past and the dozens of Sugar Babies I have scoffed down are still embedded in my teeth.
I really will look like a Jack O’Lantern next year as those Sugar Babies, Sugar Daddies have wreaked havoc with my fillings, my already worn-down choppers. I’ll be asking Santa for a root canal.
Halloween, you deplete me.
There are wrappers all over the place and I do not mean Eminem, Jay-Z or Nicki Minaj. I refer to the empty M & M bags, Starburst, Milky Ways. If there was a category on Jeopardy marked, “Name that Wrapper” I’d be within days of Ken Jennings. Then again, all of the categories would have to be about Halloween candy.
Halloween, you deplete me.
I am not a fan of Nerds but they will do in a pinch. Same for Dum Dums, Sour Patch Kids and Life Savers. When I spot Milk Duds, however, watch out. I’d kill for one of those yellow and brown boxes filled with five or six delectably chocolate covered caramels inside. I think them divine and, in fact, would they be an offering as a dessert in a five-star restaurant, I’d be beyond thrilled. Perhaps I’ll bring a tray to Thanksgiving.
An after-dinner Milk Dud avec cafe?
Alas, I glorify that Halloween played by John Candy and must remember the crash of all of that sugar, that havoc done to my insides, my psyche, my world.
Halloween, you deplete me.
Here’s to your Joyful Musers and your own Halloween depletion. Perhaps I’ll see you at the 75% off sale at Rite Aid; I’ll be aiming for the Milk Duds.
Susan Dromey Heeter is a writer from Dover who recently let her hair go au natural white. Writing has been her passion since her English majoring days at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst. Dromey Heeter has lived in The Netherlands, Alaska and currently basks in all things New England, including the frigid winters. An avid swimmer, Dromey Heeter’s great passion is to bring back body surfing as most children have no idea how to ride waves without ridiculous boogie boards.
The opinions expressed are those of the writer. InDepthNH.org takes no position on politics, but welcomes diverse opinions.