Musing On Spanx, Houdini and Antonio Brown

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Bill Belichick and Antonio Brown


Today I muse joyfully that in 1912, magician Harry Houdini first publicly performed his “Water Torture Cell” trick in Berlin.

I love that his name has lived on, I feel very much like Houdini when I escape out of my Spanx after a night out.  I wonder if Harry could perform this trick, though in my postpartum gut?

Is that Sir Luc with Susan Dromey Heeter?

I suspect this is highly doubtful.

And I muse on Houdini as I read about him in today’s Boston Globe, in the “This Day in History” section.

And much as I muse about Harry Houdini, today I honor heroes of 2019, the real escapees from the “Water Torture Cell” – amazers including Boston Globe Sports Writer Dan Shaughnessy, whose line on the front page of the Saturday’s Globe  reads:
“The Patriots failed to do anything when it mattered. They ceded the moral high ground. The record will show that the holy trinity of Bob Kraft, Bill Belichick, and Tom Brady was all in on this guy.”

His words are from a larger article where wide receiver Antonio Brown was released from the New England Patriots after Sports Illustrated reported that he sent terrifying and intimidating texts to a woman who had accused him of sexual assault.

I cannot pretend to be the least bit interested in the Patriots.  I could not care less about Brady, do know Belichick wears sweatshirts with the sleeves cut off and have not read extensively about Kraft’s forays into massage parlors.  

But what I do know is that I am deeply grateful to writers like Dan Shaughnessy for calling them out.  

It’s challenging to get out of that water cell, to escape from remarks like, “Yeah, she just wants money.” The Patriots just played Brown against the Miami Dolphins and apparently he caught four passes.  I guess this is pretty good; he must be an extremely talented player.

Ask around and you might still get this answer: “He’s innocent! Why would she wait so long to tell?”

I have no response. I have no idea. But I do know that the water cell gets harder from which to escape. Those chains of the party line, of that Patriot emblem on sweatshirts, cars, hats are hard to unravel, hard to unlock, hard to ignore. 

But today, as I celebrate Houdini’s trick and sports writers with keys and insights and the bravery to report on Brady, Belichick and Kraft, I muse joyfully that today, we have escaped.  

Houdini stayed underwater for two minutes or so, a really long time to get out of chains and hold his breath.  That was 1912.

It’s 2019.  It’s time to exhale, get out of those chains, breath and report.  I muse joyfully you’ll join me in doing just that.

And perhaps today I’ll unlock the chains of Spanx and silence.  

Susan Dromey Heeter is a writer from Dover who recently let her hair go au natural white. Writing has been her passion since her English majoring days at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst.  Dromey Heeter has lived in The Netherlands, Alaska and currently basks in all things New England, including the frigid winters. An avid swimmer, Dromey Heeter’s great passion is to bring back body surfing as most children have no idea how to ride waves without ridiculous boogie boards.

The opinions expressed are those of the writer. takes no position on politics, but welcomes diverse opinions.

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