Bennie the Dog Takes the Fifth

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Susan Dromey Heeter

The allegations weigh on Bennie the Dog


Last week, met up with Bennie the Dog, today we bring you part II of that interview.

InDepthNH: Thanks for meeting with us, again, Bennie. We know you’ve got a busy schedule so your time is deeply valued.

Bennie: I am a busy guy, so much to do and sniff. But it’s an honor to be here. I have a deep appreciation for journalists, for those who unpack facts and bring them to the public. I am delighted and eager the world sees me for who I really am, much more than a mere dog, I really am a canine wunderkind.

InDepthNH: Well, today, Bennie, we understand you’ve been issued a search warrant, according to our sources, you hid evidence belonging to Susan Dromey Heeter, the writer of Joyful Musings.

Bennie:  Wait, what? I thought this interview was about my infallibility, my doctoral thesis, my incessant curiosity.

Susan Dromey Heeter

InDepthNH:  Initially, it was but word came that there is some concern over Oofas Sandals, olive green Oofas belonging to Susan Dromey Heeter. According to our sources, you took these, hid them under the couch and denied having them: hence, the search warrant. There is speculation these sandals were ruined by you.

Bennie: This is a BITCH HUNT!  Those sandals have the same consistency as my dog toys, how was I to know they were not meant for my incisors? I deeply enjoy a good chew and these sandals smelled especially lovely, human feet have an especially inviting aroma. So, perhaps I have them but I will plead the Fifth.

InDepthNH: Did you chew them?

Bennie:  I plead the Fifth.

InDepthNH: Are you a fan of shoes? Have you ever chewed on them before?

Bennie:  Yes, I love footwear, I am especially keen on flip flops, on sandals. The rubbery texture, the lightness, they make such a great snack. I pair them with a warm bowl of water – ideally that has been allowed to breathe for 24 hours. I find nothing more delicious than a good chew, in fact, I am quite a sandal connoisseur.  After finishing my doctorate, I really hope to write a cookbook – the working title is Snack on Sandals avec Chef Bennie. I have a special affinity for OluKais, there will be a section devoted entirely to Hawaian footwear. Their taste is exquisite.

InDepthNH:  It sounds like you may have hidden these Oofas intentionally, is that true?

Bennie: I’ve said too much. I will defer to my lawyers. I plead the Fifth.

InDepthNH:  Thank you, Bennie, for your time. As we’ve gone to press, it’s been revealed you did, indeed, have the Oofas and the picture indicates the damage.

Bennie:  I plead the Fifth.

InDepthNH: We here at Joyful Musings and thank you for your time.

Bennie: It’s always a pleasure.  Thank you.

Susan Dromey Heeter is a writer from Dover who recently let her hair go au natural white. Writing has been her passion since her English majoring days at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst.  Dromey Heeter has lived in The Netherlands, Alaska and currently basks in all things New England, including the frigid winters. An avid swimmer, Dromey Heeter’s great passion is to bring back body surfing as most children have no idea how to ride waves without ridiculous boogie boards.

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