By Michael Davidow, Radio Free New Hampshire
Your weekly news round-up:
First, partisan activities in Central Eastern Province have finally been countermanded. Scattered rebels in the city of Burlington, former district of Vermont, surrendered unconditionally after a brief bombardment by air and ground forces. The city of Montreal, meanwhile, remains under martial law. Quebec City remains surrounded. It is the seventh week of this latest siege.
Second, the wheat crop in Central Middle Province has been judged a failure for the fifth year in a row. Mine conditions in South Minnesota are presenting novel pressures there; there are complaints of too many migrants. Leaders are meeting in New Washington to determine food schedules accordingly. There can be no question, of course, that the needs of our troops must take precedence over all matters of civilian consumption.
Third, rumors that the city of Dallas has been lost are greatly exaggerated. Drone lifts continue to fortify its residents and relief negotiations with the South American Federation are making steady progress. Communications have suffered, however, due to sporadic satellite warfare activity on the part of the SAF’s chief ally, China.
Fourth, the Senate has now voted to concede its last powers of advise and consent to the newly constituted North American Military Congress. The last bastion of so-called civilian command in the North American Union will remain in place, however, until the appointments to its successor chamber are duly finalized. Its fate after that date remains in doubt. Several of its forty-two members were arrested after the vote, including both members from Central Eastern Province, both members from Central Western Province, and one member from Northern Middle Province. Their wealth will be confiscated.
Fifth, the Supreme Court continues to debate the legality of using the word “anschluss” to describe the Great Unification of 2068. Strangely enough, court members on both the far left and far right wings favor the continued use of this term. Members of the left consider it justified, because they believe the massing of what were then “American” troops on what was then the “Canadian” border constituted the threat of invasion, if Canada did not concede to American demands for political union; reminiscent of how Germany invaded Austria prior to the second World War.
Members of the right, oddly enough, echo that opinion, taking a perverse pleasure in that comparison. Yet both sides ignore the important facts that the Canadians themselves asked for this intervention, and that American troops were welcomed by their northern neighbors with open arms. After all, our duly constituted Commander in Chief is himself a native of old Alberta. He is presently touring the cities of New Miami, New Atlanta, and New New Orleans, and can be expected to return from Northern Middle Province in time to celebrate Unification Day at home.
Sixth, we now have even more reasons to celebrate next week’s holiday, thanks to a new study by our friends at the Federal Department of Communications.
Apparently Unification Day itself occurred on the fiftieth anniversary of a pivotal moment in United States history: the mid-term elections during the regime of President Dernal Trump. Research further indicates this: that President Trump’s willful ignorance of climate change, shameless vilification of his enemies in what was then called a “free press,” and constant denigration of the ethnic other, led his opponents to do everything they could, to stop his various machinations from succeeding.
But the American population stood behind its leader. His own putative party abandoned every one of its noble tenets and became his faithful flock. And the U.S. vote in that particular election thereby set the stage for everything that followed: the massive crop failures of the 2020’s; the great migrations of the 2030’s; the necessary militarization of American society thereafter; and finally, the birth of today’s beloved and successful North American Union.
It is well-known that our Commander in Chief is no fan of Dernal Trump. He asked for the Senate to dissolve itself with reluctance, saddened by his knowledge that it had long since become an ineffective body of elite corporate interests. He has ordained agricultural reclamation projects, which his critics label forced labor, because he understands so well what climate change means. He fights the southern hordes, not from hatred, but only because he knows he must defend our homeland. He wishes things were better. He really does.
Get out and vote next Tuesday.
Michael Davidow is a lawyer in Nashua. He is the author of Gate City, Split Thirty, and The Rocketdyne Commission, three novels about politics and advertising which, taken together, form The Henry Bell Project. His books are available on Amazon.
Views expressed in columns and opinion pieces are those of the author and do not reflect those of InDepthNH.org.